FEATURE:

Sex and Baby Boomers

By Dianne Glei
Generations Hawaii Editor

Much has been made of the sexual side effects of menopause, but like menopause itself, women have varying degrees of difficulty with sex after menopause.

“Women all along have some degree of sexual dysfunction. It doesn’t just begin with menopause,” says Diane Thompson, M.D., medical director of the Women’s Health Center at The Queen’s Medical Center.

Since “estrogen is the woman’s sexual functioning hormone,” changes are bound to occur in menopause when estrogen levels drop, according to Dr. Thompson, whose medical degree is in psychiatry. And, many women today are choosing not to have hormone replacement therapy because of increased cancer risks. This was the treatment of choice for our mothers’ generation and before.

So women’s risk of lower libido and orgasmic disorder increase with lower levels of estrogen as happens in menopause, notes Thompson, who also is director of the Cancer Center program at Queen’s. One of the physical results of menopause is vaginal dryness which makes the sexual experience uncomfortable for some women. Lubricants may help with this, according to Thompson. Couples need to experiment to see what works.

She points out that men also experience lower testosterone levels as they age and testosterone is the hormone linked to libido for men.

“While hormones play a role in sexual function, it’s important to remember that a bigger part is the relationship itself,” says Thompson. How partners feel about each other and themselves. “If they feel attractive they are more likely to be sexually active.”

And, apparently Baby Boomers, who are the “sexual revolution” generation, are sexually active. At least that was the result of a survey conducted online by Eons, the 50-plus company created by Monster.com founder Jeff Taylor. Eons bills itself as a site for those “loving life on the flipside of 50.”
In the survey, half of the 4,000 respondents were in the 50 to 64 age group (53 percent of the men and 47 percent of the women).

What the Eons’ Sex and Intimacy Survey found was that Baby Boomers are having sex frequently, 59 percent at least once a week. And, 47 percent said they’ve had more than 10 sexual partners in their lives. This probably is a result of their rebelling in the 1960s against the 1950s’ notion of family and sex only after marriage.

Other findings from the survey include Boomers are open to new sexual experiences (86 percent replied yes); they are emotionally closer to their partner than they have ever been and expect to be closer still as they get older; only 15 percent said menopause has effected their sex life “a lot,” and after sex, most Boomers want to keep the intimacy growing – 69 percent like to cuddle and talk.

But, this intimacy requires mutual participation and men and women have a different focus throughout the sexual experience, from early to later years, according to Thompson of Queen’s. “Men are goal oriented, focusing on the desire while women want intimacy. Women are interested in the entire encounter, but (they) also are more often distracted during sex,” she says.

And, she adds, “depression is a big inhibitor of sexual function.” Medications and medical problems also play a role. And, in a double-edge sword, anti-depressants have a negative effect on sexual function, too.

But, any sexual dysfunction should be identified as to cause, whether it’s medical difficulties or more physical such as lack of energy or stress. If there are family worries or financial issues, these play a role in keeping the libido low, points out Thompson.

There are ways to work around a medically-induced sexual dysfunction, Thompson says with a caveat. Doctors can change medication or change the dosage or give patients a “drug holiday.” What this means is taking medication during the week and not on the weekend when a person probably has more time for intimacy. This should be done only with the consent of the person’s physician, she adds.

Since Viagra and other drugs like it came on the market, there are more commercials about sexual intimacy so older people talk about it more, according to Thompson, who also is an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Hawaii John A. Burns School of Medicine. What these drugs do, she notes, is help men with sexual dysfunction. They do nothing to help with being in the mood or enjoying sex. These drugs are “not a medicine for libido.”

Her recommendations for improving intimacy include:

• No excessive alcohol.
• Engage in intimate moments when you’re not too tired or have just eaten a big meal.
• Reduce stress
• Stay healthy
• Discuss physical problems with your physician. She points to a study that showed if patients taking anti-depressant medication were specifically asked about sexual dysfunction, they said yes. But, patients were unlikely to bring it up on their own.

Any activity, exercise or other, that a couple does together is healthy for the relationship, Thompson adds.

So, when discussing libido, it’s not just one distinct issue, she points out. “It’s not just physical, but also emotional. It’s all about quality of life and communication between the two people that’s the important thing.

“So, if communication is lacking whether it’s from anger or one partner spending too much time on the Internet, it’s a libido downer.”

And, another researcher Dr. Robert Butler, president and CEO of the International Longevity Center – USA, says the public needs to be better educated on the importance of sexuality for health, quality of life and the human experience.

Butler is the author of “The New Love and Sex After 60” (Ballantine Books, 2002). “We need to revolutionize our thinking about what it means to be older,” he says. “It is time we have a frank discussion about sexual preferences or problems and promote sexual self-awareness in later life.”
Baby Boomers seem to agree.

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